Don’t be “normal” Be you

Most of us have an intense desire to feel accepted. This need has been hard wired in us ever since we were little. And this results in almost all our life’s decisions and choices to be driven by the predefined standards of normality or acceptability within society.

We have been conditioned to believe that “normal” means going through the traditional education system, working 9-to-5 jobs, getting married in our 20s, having children when we’re young and growing old gradually.

Home-schooling, marrying late, not having children and reverse aging are considered abnormal by a lot of people even today.

We come to realise that the easiest way to feel normal is to fit in , and conform.

The trouble is that by trying so hard to be someone else’s version of normal ( which by the way can take up a lot of energy) we lose a part of ourselves. We deny ourselves and others the privilege of experiencing our uniqueness.

The concept of normality is more a subjective than objective . What is normal to one person may be abnormal to another.

Now just for the record by abnormal in this blog I don’t mean to encourage making negative lifestyle choices like drug addiction – I mean for us to feel empowered and rise above the stereotype of normality.

It was once suggested that abnormal means ab(ove)normal, but this is not referring to superiority or higher intelligence ; it just means being able to take the road less traveled.

By trying hard to be “normal” we limit ourselves to the ordinary – why not instead embrace ourselves and strive for the extra ordinary.

So stop being a wallflower and stop trying so hard to go unnoticed .

Don’t worry if people call you weird, strange or crazy just because you are being true to yourself.

Realise that your life is valuable. It holds potential for greatness. Don’t let it slip into mediocrity by choosing to live it like everyone else.

It is not a worthy trade.

Cheers and hope you enjoyed reading . Happy Diwali , Happy Gurupurab and Happy Thanksgiving 😊

Do it now !

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“You only get one shot – ” at life. Live it now. Don’t keep it in reserve against a day you might not have.

Life is too short:

To be scared to make mistakes. Your worst mistakes will be your best lessons
To not chase your dream; to fear the risk of failing at it. Never realising that it is better to fail while reaching for the stars than succeeding at what you never really wanted in the first place
To fear taking risks – unaware that the biggest risk is to live as long as you hoped without really doing the things you dreamt of
To worry about the trivial and waste what will never come back. Time. We say time is money – but money can be borrowed – time can’t .
To feel guilty about doing nothing – sometimes just laugh a little more , lie in bed all day , watch your favourite tv shows, binge on all your favourite food – without regret
To put off that “trip of a lifetime” for next year – find a way to make it happen. Your kids can come along. Your job isn’t going anywhere and someone will feed the dog
To not tell the ones you love that you love them often enough- assuming you have another day
To complain and hold grudges that hurt you more than anyone else

Having said all this – I know that life is not only short , it is sometimes hard. It becomes profoundly complicated for us to chase our dreams.

But why ?

Almost all of us live a life for the approval of others. It’s hardly a life of our own

So take out time to live your life ..your way. Do what matters to you .. and if you don’t know what it is yet .. that’s ok too .. take out time to find out

Live your live now !

You are a part of me

When I look into your eyes .. I don’t see perfection. I don’t see a fairytale. What I do see is someone who will fight for me and protect me and love me no matter what.

You know my darkest secrets .. you’ve seen me at my worst .. you know I’m far from perfect .. even a wreck most times .. but you love me anyway

You’ve made me laugh, you’ve hugged me tight , you’ve wiped my tears , you’ve picked me up when I fell and you’ve applauded when I succeeded

You are a promise that I need no one else as long as I have you I need no one else – you are my best friend forever

And although you and I are unsure about most little and big things in life I am certain that we love each other and will continue to forever .. no matter what

And right now …. I would do anything to have you bury your head in my chest and snuggle up to you

Entangle my fingers and legs in yours .. tell you not to stare at me ..

Tell you not to talk to me .. but when u don’t ask you why you’re not talking. Crib and take out my frustration on you

I would do anything to just be able to have you next to me right now

What is love

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Different people have different versions of what love is. Most describe it as a feeling or an emotion associated with certain behaviours.

I for one have now come to believe that love is a decision.

A decision to commit. A decision not to give up. A decision to work things out. A decision not to leave things up to fate but to pursue the happiness that the relationship brings to you.

I used to believe that love is a mushy feeling of butterflies in your stomach and skipping a heartbeat every time you laid eyes on that special someone – but I guess that’s the falling in love part

Falling in love could be a feeling.

But you see the thing about feelings is that they are here today and gone tomorrow. Today I feel I like having pizza and tomorrow I don’t

Many a times we confuse the idea of falling in love with true love

You see, when we are falling in love, It’s a passive act. We don’t have to do much. Everything comes naturally.And hence we start to expect love to be just that – to happen

True love is what comes after the falling part

True love is a lot of hard work. Take losing weight for example. You know what you need to do to lose weight. You will not always feel like working out, or sticking to a diet and it will not always easy or enjoyable

Love is the same. It’s a choice.

There will be times when you’d rather be selfish, do your own thing – but then in these moments you make a decision: do I choose to love or not? And once you answer this question, you’re committed and you stick to your decisions despite the obstacles.

Many a times when my husband and I are in a fight I tell him “it shouldn’t be this difficult” , “ it should be effortless “

But life is not all fair weather then how can love be. Just like you hit obstacles in your life – be it work, traveling, buying a house, you will hit obstacles with your partner, too. But how why are we are ready to overcome them in any other area of our lives but love? How come when it comes to relationships the moment we experience difficulties we consider giving up? We don’t quit our jobs if we make a mistake. Why quit relationships

When I fell in love with my husband ,God gave me a very precious gift.

But there is one thing that most of us tend to ignore. It’s what’s written on the gift box that reads: Fragile. So fall in love – accept the beautiful gift – and decide to take care of it. Don’t neglect it or kick it around. Chose to handle with care and love – and fix it if you start to see some wear and tear

❤️

Who are you … And why are you here ?

As a baby blogger (grinning from ear to ear calling myself one) ; I wanted this post to be about who I am and why I started blogging.

Some Background

I have been working with some of the biggest global MNCs for the last 6 years now. I started when I was just a 22 year old girl fresh out of my Master’s and have gone full speed ahead in the career of my choice, ever since.

Two years ago, I got married. This didn’t deter my career at all. I couldn’t have asked for anything more – the most supportive in-laws , and a husband so amazing that I could have only dreamt of.. Nevertheless,life changed. Overnight

Marriage is quite like a stock market . Two families and the two partners come together and invest in a new family – their time, attention and many more resources. And just like there’s always a risk of stocks going up or down, marriage brings with it at times, the unexpected.

Now let me try to tie my life story back to blogging.

The idea to write crossed my mind for the first time probably a year ago.

Sometimes driven by the need to express a point of view and sometimes just an urge to share excerpts from my life for the greater good. But every time life would take over and blogging would hit the back burner.

Finally 4 days ago, with the luxury of time on my side , I downloaded the WordPress app and typed my first post.

To be honest, I found it liberating and gratifying to say the least.

You will find that my blogs – at least to start with would be a window to my thoughts – an outlet of creativity, of opinions and hopefully sometimes provide something useful to somebody, somewhere.

I am not a writer and my posts may not be literary marvels but I do promise you one thing – that my posts will be full of heart.

So I want to thank you – for accepting me as part of this community with open arms and joining me in this journey.

Happy weekend guys! I look forward to reading some great posts from all of you .

❤️❤️

Find your voice

A lack of respect for authority is often interpreted as a lack of respect at all..

I often wonder – if there wasn’t ever any kind of defiance of established authority – be it religious, secular, social or political ; would we have evolved as a society at all ?

There is no doubting the fact that there is so much untapped potential in the youth today. But in certain societies there is also a generation from 60 ears ago pulling them back

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a rebel and do have immense respect for authority. So in that sense I am quite the opposite.

But do I often ache to have the freedom to express my views openly without offending authority? Yes.

It’s unfair for every next generation to be labelled as “lost” or “disrespectful” and in many ways wrong to conclude that distrust of authority characterizes only the younger generation.

For instance – Parents may not trust the authority of a teacher or a relative to discipline their child.

Today, people across age groups at some point or the other have viewed some kind of authority with distrust, maybe even contempt. – be it the state, the police , the workplace and the list goes on

Then why label a generation ?

Does this mean that no authority can be trusted? If exercised properly, authority can be used to enable and empower everybody .

So RESPECT to authority that does not stifle creativity and empowers us to be more liberated and progressive

Cheers guys! Have a great day ahead

Love yourself

Love yourself, amaze yourself , and try to be the best version of yourself each day , everyday.

No one is perfect .. but the definition of perfection is open to interpretation isn’t it?

If there is one thing that I’ve learnt over the last few years it’s this :

It is next to impossible to fit in to everybody’s definition of perfection.So the choice was mine to make.. whether to kill myself trying to please everyone or be the best version of myself and love my perfect imperfections.

This does not mean that I encourage complacency but just that I needn’t beat myself up about every little thing

I still continue to identify the things I do not adore about myself or my life, and try one of the following

Make it better– I cherish the fact that it’s not too late and I can still make things better. So here’s my advice : Don’t wait.Do it now. At least start.

Be it burying the hatchet with your best friend, or hitting the gym because your cholesterol is through the roof, or asking the love of your life for forgiveness.

Forgive yourself– I try to forgive myself for lying to the man I love, or yelling at my mother after she had the worst day at work

Its not easy to let go of this baggage. I still cry when nobody is looking. But I do know I need to forgive myself and be the person I would have wanted to be in those moments of imperfections

Embrace life and yourself – Not everything will always be as planned. You will not always have your dream job or dream house or dream car

You will not always look how you did in your prime.

Will it drive you crazy some days? Maybe. But you have a choice to either sit and feel sorry for yourself or be grateful for all that you have and enjoy the gift of life

My father always says that it’s the simple things in life that give limitless joy – the things that we often forget to sit back and enjoy

A long walk with the one you love, laughing till your stomach hurts reminiscing your childhood days with friends, going on picnics with your kids or browsing though photo albums on that occasional Sunday

So let’s try to live in every moment and enjoy it for what it is